Posthumous Publishing, Part 12, Deadly Editions

The Pros and Cons of Publishing Posthumously

Part 12: Editing from Beyond the Grave

One of the enduring dilemmas for the posthumous author is editing. Should you or shouldn’t you? Even for the living, the task can be an onerous one. Having sons or daughters, (or even distant cousins) do the work for you is one option. Editing before you pass to the great beyond or oblivion is another, even better choice. Be sure to time the release of your new editions with care: 10 years, 25 years, 50 and 100 are tried and true strategies. Plan in advance if possible, if not; seek help from others in the afterlife. (please see part 18, Necropolis here I come). Deathless prose always comes at a cost.

Posthumous Publishing, Part 11, Criticism

The Pros and Cons of Publishing Posthumously

Part 11: Why Criticism Usually Falls on Deaf Ears

Sound travels roughly three- to- four feet underground depending on soil conditions. Low frequencies travel better. Shrill criticism will never reach your ears— it’s a simple scientific fact and comforting one. Nothing is more debilitating to the posthumous author than the constant patter of negative reviews. Surely, it’s the number one positive reason for publishing after death. Bear in mind, being six feet under does not necessarily make you immune to ridicule and derision. Overly sensitive dead-author types may find themselves rolling unaccountably. An extra wide casket may be the right choice for you.

Posthumous Publishing, Part 10, Bright Lights

The Pros and Cons of Publishing Posthumously

"Let there be light"

Part 10: Longest Lasting Book Lights on the Market

Casket-bound or not, it is essential that the posthumous author keeps up with the latest trends in publishing. And that means reading. And that means light. Most cemeteries frown upon high voltage wires leading to their grave sites, but will allow for small solar power arrays. Batteries, rechargeable or not, are also problematic. No one wants to spend eternity alongside a box of leaky D-cells. Things to look for: 1. a strong clip, 2. an adjustable neck, 3. long-life bulbs. Top recommendation: LuminoLite, as it produces a white light similar to daylight, which stimulates the brain and helps you stay alert and energetic. Night-vision goggles are a poor second choice.

Posthumous Publishing, Part 9, Agents

The Pros and Cons of Publishing Posthumously

Part 9: Finding an Agent You Can Really Trust

For the newly-dead author the one important question to ask is: does your agent have off-spring and are they in the family business? Take the long view here and be generous. It makes perfect sense to offer a slightly larger percent of future royalties than if you were a living author. Ceaseless haunting and the ability to invoke gypsy curses are always good backup plans, though threatening to let your work lapse into the public domain is the best motivation of all.

Posthumous Publishing Part 8, Twitter Tips

The Pros and Cons of Publishing Posthumously

Part 8: Twitter Tips for Dead Authors

Short of exhumation, there’s little for the dead author on twitter. Arranging for a “ghost-tweep” to post on your behalf can be expensive and difficult to monitor. For example, below-ground cell service is expensive and unreliable. (6G service is unavailable from most carriers). Ethernet cables are unsightly, and as such,  banned in most cemeteries. Automated posts are the obvious solution and many third party software companies offer a way to schedule tweets in perpetuity. However, the inability to retweet, like, or reply, eventually leads to a follower-less accounts.

Posthumous Publishing, Part 7, Frozen Assets

The Pros and Cons of Posthumous Publishing

Part 7: Modern Cryogenic Technology, An Overview

Urban myths of a frozen Walt Disney aside, cryogenic technology has advanced considerably over the years. Facilities can vary, so arm yourself with the correct questions: How cold is cold? How reliable is the electrical generator? Do they have solar power back-ups in place? Is frostbite insurance available? What an absolute thrill for the posthumous author to re-awaken in the dystopian future that he or she has created! (Be sure to visit Bredo Morstoel at the Frozen Dead Guy Festival in Nederland Colorado, annually, early March, to receive a free kelvin to celsius to fahrenheit temperature conversion guide.)

Posthumous Publishing, Part 6, Advance

The Pros and Cons of Publishing Posthumously

Part 6: The Publisher’s Advance, Always a Good Idea?

The short answer is yes, though in our complex legalistic society, the answer is often no. Dying before completing any contracted work can sometimes lead to massive debt and unwanted liens. Except for the pennies on your eyes, the old adage, “you can’t take it with you” is applicable in most cases, though extra-large caskets are available for a premium. The drawbacks of course are grave-robbers and overly enthusiastic archeologists. Gold and gems preserve well; paper currency, including stocks and bonds should be protected in hermetically sealed containers.